We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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