Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
