I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
