His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
