I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
