I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
