My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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