i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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