Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
