Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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