He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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