I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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