that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
