I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize