I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize