I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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