I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
