nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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