You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
