Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
