Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Randomize
