I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
