Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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