You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
