You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
