you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize