You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
