u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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