my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
