It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
