I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
