STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize