What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
