Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
