I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
