Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
