dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
