hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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