Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
