Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
