Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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