Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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