The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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