Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
