I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
