Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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