maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
