If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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