He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
