Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
