i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
