oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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