Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so explain again why im purple
no
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
