Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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