the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
