I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
