There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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