It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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