Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
