So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
