You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
