Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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